Similes
These usages are not arranged alphabetically, but all involve comparisons using either "like" or "as." I gather these well aware the some things are "not a patch" on other things, i.e., that they do not bear comparison. Fuller information about some of these usages is on the main list. There are twenty-six files there. Just click on to the appropriate letter.
98 entries
running around like a blue-arsed fly, in and out like a blue arse fly
Listed in this collection only.
in and out, like a fart in a collander, or up and down, like a fart in a bottle
Listed in this collection only.
He's up and down, like a prostitute's pants
Listed in this collection only.
Ee's gorran ed as big as Berkened
Listed in this collection only.
Ee's as queer as a nine-bob note
Listed in this collection only.
Ee lewks like de unchback a Knotty Ash
Listed in this collection only.
She gorra mouf like a parish oven
Listed in this collection only.
Yer gorrup like a pox-docter's clerk
Listed in this collection only.
Ee's as queer as a clockwerk oringe
Listed in this collection only.
Ee'll never be as good as Dixie
Listed in this collection only.
I'm spittin like a Flemish commedjun
Listed in this collection only.
Me gob's(mouth) like de bottom uv a berdcage
Listed in this collection only.
My nose is runnin like a glassblower's arse
Listed in this collection only.
Lushed as the landlord's cat
Listed in this collection only.
as daft as soft Mick
Listed in this collection only.
as relaxed as a cow-flop
Listed in this collection only.
Yer as awkward as yer 'alf-daft Da
Listed in this collection only.
bald as a melling
Listed in this collection only.
blind as a one-legged ref
Listed in this collection only.
buggers about like a fartna bottle
Listed in this collection only.
got nuts like cobbles(cobblestones)
Listed in this collection only.
Cold as a nun's bum
Listed in this collection only.
decked up like a bloody May-horse
Listed in this collection only.
as worn out as a donkeystone(stone used for cleaning steps, etc.)
Listed in this collection only.
dun up like a fo'penny rabbit
Listed in this collection only.
'e guv 'er a ring wit' dymins like heggs
Listed in this collection only.
`e come out like a busted boil
Listed in this collection only.
got a face like a dollop of mortal sins
Listed in this collection only.
got a gob like a bee's bum
Listed in this collection only.
got a neck like a mad giraffe
Listed in this collection only.
grizzle like an oven-tap
Listed in this collection only.
'appy as a dog wit' two dicks
Listed in this collection only.
like two apples in a baga woman with a lovely rump
a woman with a lovely rump
mad as Barney's bull
Listed in this collection only.
As mad as a Mick in ther nick(jail)
Listed in this collection only.
don't stand there like one er Lewis's( a store mannikin)
Listed in this collection only.
piss along like a green goddess(city tram), to
Listed in this collection only.
E's randy like a butcher's dog
Listed in this collection only.
she guv 'im hell, like Red Hot John…
(reference to a famous Salvation Army Preacher)
as ard as a breathless tally-man
Listed in this collection only.
totterin' along like a hen wit' ther staggers
Listed in this collection only.
went out like a bleed'n' light
Listed in this collection only.
She's gorra face like an ole manz knee
Listed in this collection only.
She's gorra pursnality like a nopen grave
Listed in this collection only.
That wons like a bleedin' `orse
Listed in this collection only.
Shez got legs like knotty pine
Listed in this collection only.
Slike a mop 'angin' over dthe bannisters(said of a woman's untidy hair)
Listed in this collection only.
Eez gorra backonim like a ware'ouse rat
Listed in this collection only.
Nossuprised ee kicked dthe buckit, used to eat like a shithouse wrat!
Listed in this collection only.
Eez gorra pursnality lyka lumpa dogshit
Listed in this collection only.
All of em had faces like a baboon's arse with ringworm.
Listed in this collection only.
He is as fat as mud.
Listed in this collection only.
I was about as popular as a bacon buttie at a Bar Mitzvah
Listed in this collection only.
I wuz pissed as a newt.
Listed in this collection only.
You look like a busted couch.
Listed in this collection only.
Thick(stupid) as two bluddy short planks youse arn yiz!
Listed in this collection only.
He's as thick(stupid) as two short poodles.
Listed in this collection only.
Of a woman's chestflat as piss on a plate.
flat as piss on a plate.
Of a person with a large lower lip:He has a lip like a camel eating toast.
Listed in this collection only.
Yer won't need any ammers tho, cos yer mush(face) lewks like a bag of em.
Listed in this collection only.
They are as daft as Bleedin brushes.
Listed in this collection only.
You're as thick as pigshit and twice as nasty.
Listed in this collection only.
This went through like shit through a goose.
Listed in this collection only.
Mad as a bitten snake
Listed in this collection only.
E's gorra gob as big as the Mersey Tunnela case of walking noise; never shuts up.
a case of walking noise; never shuts up.
Thick as wheels
Listed in this collection only.
As daft as a flemin brush
Listed in this collection only.
Ee's gorr'ears like gas taps.
Listed in this collection only.
As late as British Mail
Listed in this collection only.
Sick as a parrot
Listed in this collection only.
old as dirt
Listed in this collection only.
eyes like pee-holes in snow
Listed in this collection only.
got piles like seaweed
as much at home in a lascar rope(cheap, sinister lodging house) as a child or rich folk might have been in a nursery.
Listed in this collection only.
a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp
Listed in this collection only.
looks like he's been dragged through a hedge backwards
Listed in this collection only.
hung like a Dock Road Horsea very well endowed man.
a very well endowed man.
smokes like a Vauxhall Road chimleyneeds to cut down
needs to cut down
looked like a drowned channel pheasanttotally dishevelled.
totally dishevelled.
gets off like a ferret up a drain pipeleaves very suddenly.
leaves very suddenly.
whipped smartly back, like a ferret up a trouser legmade a dazzlingly fast move.
made a dazzlingly fast move.
like a Sumo wrestler dancing on eggshellsthe overweight at footee
the overweight at footee
got the eyesight of a boghouse ratdoesn't miss much, damn it!
doesn't miss much, damn it!
As thick as two short planksdenser than thou
denser than thou
sticks like shite to a blanketnot easily gotten rid of
not easily gotten rid of
carrying on like dogs' dinnershaving a hell-raising time
having a hell-raising time
dressed up like a dog's dinnerjacket and tie, if you don't mind!
jacket and tie, if you don't mind!
tight as a duck's arsea real penny-pincher
a real penny-pincher
got a gob like an arab's flip flopI am very thirsty
I am very thirsty
as happy as Harry
Listed in this collection only.
sounds like a pig in pain( a child's music lesson)
Listed in this collection only.
So my mate heads out fast, like shit off a shovel
Listed in this collection only.
Teaching these kids is like shovelling smoke with a billiard cue
Listed in this collection only.
As busy as Beck's Wife, to be
Listed in this collection only.
As black as Toby's arse
Listed in this collection only.
As common as muck
Listed in this collection only.
Hard as the hobs of hell
Listed in this collection only.
My jaw wobbled like a ferry's fender
Listed in this collection only.